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There is no longer any ideal place to exercise the dogs. There has been construction or renovation on every building around ours, and on ours itself, since we moved here last summer. I now recognize druggies, whereas I used to be too naive to be able to pick 'em out. I'm gathering everything I can for a yard sale next week (the same day we go to Stratford -- this will be interesting) . I'm cooking more and foregoing the evening bottle of beer in order to save money. There's not much money to save anyway, since I quit my pet store job. And in an hour I get to go for my third dentist appointment, in the Quest for a Crown. Stressed? Not me: there's still the sanctuary of our home. Oh, wait...

Dr. Jekyll's study.

Mr. Hyde's laboratory.

The space between.

Now if you'll excuse me, I think that's Ramsay with the keys, bringing me my gruel.

How about, 'Hello!' or 'How are you?'... do you think that's all I do all day long? Nurse? FYI I also wipe bottoms, burp, change diapers, change out of clothes that have been urinated on and dream about changing my name and moving to another country.

But really, why are you so bothered about whether I breastfeed or not? And how is it any of your business? Also, how about knocking before you barge in to the room and come and stand right next to me as I try and force a bruised and battered nipple in to my sons mouth?

And 10 hours after I have delivered a baby is not a good time to wax lyrical about the miracle of birth and say 'Isn't it amazing how your blood is turned in to milk?' Why yes, I am indeed a modern day Jesus with a uterus. Someone bring me my robes.

And don't tell me how your son almost drowned in your breast milk. Your 'kanna' is now 25, has a moustache and works as a research analyst in Singapore. The image in my head is not pleasant. In fact, don't talk about your children at all. I don't care that they never saw a milk bottle in their life, that they started walking when they were 8 months old and that they could sing show tunes at age 1. I DON'T CARE.

I'm not quite done yet, but I have to go. The baby needs feeding.