If the traditional definition of marriage is the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a consensual and contractual relationship recognized by law, when was the union of two people, of the same sex, added to this definition?  It doesn't make any sense to me.

I can think of 2 people in my family involved in this kind of activity, but it's not something I condone.  I was taught growing up in the "church" that marriage was a privilege a man and a woman held that cemented their promise of obligation toward each other.  It's like two pieces of a puzzle that just fit.  I am of that generation where everyone decided to "come out."  I don't want to see all that!  It's a sickness to me and I would prefer we were still in my grandparent's day where you just stayed in the closet.  Way back in the darkest part of the closet.  We were meant to procreate.  It's the natural order of things.

That's why it's very important that a child is either raised by both parents, or surrounded by caring adults, male and female.  It's not normal for a male child to be influenced by his mother alone.  I was a single parent, but made sure my sons were influenced by my brothers, uncles, father and cousins.  I can't teach a boy to be a man.  Only a man can.

Before we start, let's clarify those few things again:
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• I will not agree to the statement that men (or women) are superior. Both have equal qualities, though may be better in different departments.
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• I’ll be taking the stereotypical view of both genders, just so I don’t have to keep saying “but there are exceptions!” and making myself sound like a broken recorder. I know there are exceptions, just don’t make me repeat that so many times. =(
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• The reason why I’m doing this is not to belittle the other gender, it’s for me (and hopefully, my boyfriend~) to understand the differences between the two, and maybe even appreciate them! I know I appreciate him knowing the roads better than I do. xP
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• This has nothing to do with the book “Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus”. I’ve read an excerpt of it, but this is not meant to steal things from there. This is to inform people (who’re interested enough to read this, anyway) in a way that I understand with my own experience!
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Okay, now let's start~!

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Men and Venus? On Gender Differences

Chapter 2: Too Focused, Blur-case, or Deaf? Too Excited, Aggressive, or Just Can't Stop Talking?

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Sometimes, I see complaints of one person on the other gender. Like, "ZOMG, he just doesn't listen to me! I told him that so-and-so happened and to do this-and-that, but he doesn't listen!!" or "ZOMG, she just talks too much! Why doesn't she shut up?!"
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Sounds familiar?
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My boyfriend and I haven't really encountered this problem badly yet. Or rather, he hadn't complained to me yet. Though for me, sometimes I can see the truth in these complaints.
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Like, for example, sometimes when I talk and talk, he doesn't respond. It's like, "Hey, you know, next time we should go to so-and-so and do this-and-that!"
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Silence.
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Girls, like me, tend to wonder, "Hey, did he hear me or not?"
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Yep, it sounds familiar.
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However, there's most likely a reason behind that.
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When I do ask my boyfriend if he heard (after a bit of talking and little response), he actually heard me. What's more, he could repeat most of the information I gave him!
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Yeah, he did miss out some information, but who cares? He heard me!
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But hey, what about other couples? Why are there so many arguments on why he don't listen and why she talks too much?
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After a lot of reading, I can finally come here and write a blog post about it. It helps me understand my boyfriend, too. =D

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Part 1: Back to the Prehistoric Days...
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Yep, we date back all the way to the prehistoric days where we all still live as cavemen. Back then, the roles of males and females were pretty clear cut; men go hunting all day and bring back hunted animals (for food, clothing, weapon materials, etc), while the women stay home, guard the home, and gather fruits, herbs and stuff.
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As quoted from Kat Caverly (link at the bottom of the post):
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"Men evolved from hunters who didn't do much talking. (If you've ever seen your grandpa and uncles hunt and fish, you know this to be true. Hours and hours go by, and no one speaks.) While there is evidence to support that communication was needed among early hunters, most of it was done prior to setting out to hunt, leaving little for discussion during the hunting trip itself. This was practical. Too much noise (conversation) would alert the prey -- at best scaring it away; at worst turning hunter into hunted.

On the other hand, women went out-and-about not to hunt, but to gather. As they did this activity in groups, they would keep up a stream of conversation in order to make sure no one had fallen behind or prey to animals. For a woman, conversation was literally life itself!"
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Further quoted from a commenter on the post by Kat Caverly:
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"Along with that, women were responsible for raising the children, and being sensitive to communication was/is key. Such as the need for details, tones, and the “closeness” or intimacy that is entwine in women’s conversations."
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Makes sense, right?

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Part 2: Talking and Listening Today
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And so, that prehistoric trait difference brought along the complaints; men don't listen and women talk too much. This difference even brought along quotes from famous people through the ages.
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But is it really true?
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Research showed that the female brain is more geared for language and emotion related stuff, due to that part of the brain being bigger (this is writing from memory gained from reading, so I forgot the name o_o). They're also basically better equipped for multitasking, since the connection between the two hemispheres of the brain is bigger compared to that of the male brain.
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But, while this finding concludes that women do talk more than men (6,000 words compared to 4,000 words... wait, what?), other research show that this is nothing more than a myth. As said by an article from PBS: Language as Prejudice:
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"When women and men are together, it is the men who talk most. Two Canadian researchers, Deborah James and Janice Drakich, reviewed sixty-three studies which examined the amount of talk used by American women and men in different contexts. Women talked more than men in only two studies."
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What?! That's the complete opposite!!
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Forget the women talk too much part...

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Part 3: Difference Between a Talking Man and a Talking Woman
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What difference? Both men and women use words!
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Duh.
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Well, aside from that, people of both genders use speech for different purposes.
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For a start, men talk for informational purposes; they don't like talking unless it's information requesting or information sharing or something. That explains why guys talk more than girls, huh? After all, we're in the information age!
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Guys also have a heavier tendency towards actions. Once you gain the necessary information, act on them. That's what they did during the prehistoric times, right? Device hunting plan, then carry out hunting plan and don't talk during action.
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Women, on the other hand, use communication mainly for relationship building. When feeling anxious or happy or anything, they feel the need to share the emotions with someone else, and from this communication, they form relationship with each other. Even during prehistoric times, they talk to ensure that their friends are still around (you hear her, then therefore she's safe, right?) and to pass the time while they gather. So basically for them, talking = better relationship.
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See the big difference here?

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Part 4: Difference Between a Listening Man and a Listening Woman
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Remember what I said about the prehistoric times when guys don't talk much and girls talk a lot?
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When the guys go hunting, they talk before the hunt, then they stay silent during. Their focus is always on the prey, so that it doesn't get away.
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The consequences? Most of the time, guys have a single-track mind. When they focus, they focus hard and do one thing really well, but they don't really hear anything else.
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Sure, guys can multitask, but not all of them can do things and listen at the same time. Which reminds me of Ammaro's post (link at the bottom of this post):
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It happened again, today. My wife called me when I was coming home from work, and the conversation (well, the part I heard anyway) went something like this:

"Hi honey, can you ..... by the supermarket ... get .... ...... ......, some tomatoes....., .... ,..... ,...... ..... , ok dear? Thanks. Bye"

...so now i'm at the supermarket, buying what she wanted; I pick up the tomates and... Hmm... I can be pretty sure she mentioned FIVE items. Why do I only seem to remember one? Umm...

Ok, time to call her again. Uhh, honey, what did you say you wanted?

"Get ..... fat-free white cheese,..... ..... ..... tomatoes, and ..... ...., with the .... .... next to the .... counter, ok? Bye..."

So I go to the cheese section, but realize there's like 3 million different varieties of fat-free cheese. Dammit, another phone call. What was that cheese you wanted hon? And what else?

"Yeah, .... was the Kraft fat-free cheese, and by the way, ..... ..... ....., .... you find a pack of ...., and a family pack diet coke"

I swear to god, I must have called her 6 times today while I was in the supermarket... to pick up 5 things!
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It cracked me up. xP
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Guys are easily distracted. He hears his favourite tune in the background, there goes his mind. You tell him things during a movie, he doesn't remember much of it after that.
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I can relate to that, too. When I tell my boyfriend things while he's driving (women's favourite past-time o_o), he remembers less than if I lock him in a quiet room and run off with his book. So I learned my lesson and make sure I run off with his book before I tell him things!
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Well, that's the guy.
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For girls, when they do things, they respond better when you call them in the middle of things. They multitask well (though they may not be perfect), so they pick up information better when they multitask. That's because, as mentioned in the previous section, the two hemisphere of the female brain is better wired compared to the male brain.
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So... where's the problem?

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Part 5: Problems in a Relationship

Now that we know the difference between a talking/listening man and a talking/listening woman, now we can see what's up with the couples who complain about their partners.
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When a guy loves a girl, he doesn't say "I love you", because guys don't like to look weak and vulnerable. He acts out on the feelings of love, and gestures and actions become important. Action speaks louder than words, in the guy's case.
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When a girl loves a guy, she says "I love you" often. She talks a lot and always conveys the feelings in words, and she always wants to touch (hug, kiss, etc).
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So when the problem occurs?
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Due to the fact that there are differences in talking/listening needs between the two couples, both needs are not fulfilled. Women talk, thinking that the men don't listen enough, but the men get swamped with all the words and responds with actions.
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Both feel that the other doesn't understand them, and this turns into a fight.

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Part 6: So... what now?
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Compromising. That's the only way the vastly different male and female can be happy together.
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Understanding that a guy acts out on feelings rather than say it, and understanding that a girl needs to talk and hear things to feel secure.
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This is, of course, something I still need to work on, though at least I don't feel insecure anymore when he doesn't say "I love you", his actions are pretty loud. =D
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Still, knowing and understanding is the first step. And writing this article has helped me to understand loads!

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~Estrelita Farr, not so insecure~!

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• Kat Caverly: Why DO women talk so much? (Link)
• PBS: Language as Prejudice: Language Myth #6, Women Talk Too Much (Link)
• Ammaro: Women Talk Too Much and Men Don't Listen (Link)

My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT'S allowed.

Name or Nick Name : Gaz
Country or City you are from: : Pietermaritzburg, South Africa
Your Age : 29
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : Normal, although somewhat non-conformist.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : Pre pubescent, like 8...
How old were you when you first told someone? : 16
Did you plan it? If so, how? : Sort of. I was involved with an older man. Told me he'd dump me if I didn't "come out". Perfect excuse for me.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was the closest to me. My Mother.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : No, but it was in a looong letter. Don't do confrontation well. I wrote a 5 page letter all about honesty and trust.
How did you feel? : Terrified. Not of my mom, though. My dad, another story.
What was the person’s reaction? : Quiet. I thought I'd get home after the weekend and my things would be on the pavement.
What did they say? : Mom: " Dear, I've known since you were 3!"
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : Much closer. She now loves my boyfriend.
What’s it like now? : Still very close.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? : Nope. Always beat them to the post.
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : My boss' boyfriend. The word "moffie" is the only one in his vocabulary with more that 1 syllable.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : I can be proud of WHO I am. WHAT I am, however, is just an essential part of who I am.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : My father was afrikaans. He refused to accept me until the day he died, even though he was bisexual. Apparently THAT'S allowed.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : People who think they have a reason to fear telling people close to them about their sexuality. Some of them unfortunately, DO have reason. I find it difficult to comprehend because it was so easy for me.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Don't make a huge issue out of it. It's a part of you, just like your personality. People who really love you will accept what you are, because they have already accepted WHO you are.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : No.
Anything you want to add? : Being open about your sexuality is a right. You don't see straight people coming out of their closets. Why should we have to hide it?

here's a photo of him, he's the short haired model on the left. I'm also hoping to work with his friend on the right but we haven't set anything up yet. ^_^

and speaking of model mayhem, I'm working on getting an account there as well and once that happens, you'll be able to see a bit more of an actual "portfolio" and models i've worked with and whatnot...oh so much more professional. haha

if anybody else in interested in setting up a shoot, LET ME KNOW! I'm willing to do TF* (if you have a great look or idea/concept) or paid (i'm cheap and easy!!). I'm willing to travel to some extent. I'm also willing to travel further or do more involved/complicated shots if certain things are paid for of course.  I do have access to a small stock of props, clothes and make-up and am more than ok with you bringing your own. I don't mind escorts. I'm laid back and fun!!!

ya, i know that might sound a bit desperate but i'm chomping at the bit to get going on some shoots expecially before fall is over and winter turns everything monochromatic!

2x fully mature, already paired off gold angelfish

6x or so Australian rainbowfish

20-30x male guppies (the ones from when I used to breed)

5x rummynose tetras (I already have these)

3x black kuhlie loaches (again, I already have these)

2x German blue rams; and possibly

2x kribensis

I might not get the kribs due to the fact that once fully grown they might have a go at my guppies and because of their aggression, should they choose to breed. I am also concerned about the aggression of the angels and the rams when/if they breed. Hopefully I will never have to deal with more than one spawn at a time, so that all the other fish have space to retreat when the spawning fish set up a territory.

We kick off the month with Torrance Stephens, Ph.D., a man of many words and much intellect and thought.  His ability to "keep it real" is something I admire and something that keeps me checking him out.

For the month of October, AtBaP authors are talking about BEING MALE; here's the question that was posed:  Reflect on the stories you have written – the stories waiting to be written.  What themes, topics do you find your writerly mind pushing you to write?  How do these themes, topics portray themselves through you as a male writer?

Torrance begins his response:  Well I normally write about what I live and experience.  I have been told I write intellectual fiction. I have been compared to Hemingway, Iceberg Slim and Richard Wright, but my idols are Pablo Neruda, Albert Camus and Voltaire among a few others.  It is easy for me; since I write erotica, sci-fi, horror, and psychological and philosophical realism, with my understanding of the sciences, history and the world; they just roll off my brain.

What ELSE does Torrance have to say about "writing as male"?  Head over to ALL THE BLOG'S A PAGE today to read the rest of his response and to learn more about Dirt Behind My Ears and Butter Brown!

 Out Musician/Singer/Songwriter, Josh Zuckerman  is talented and edgy. His music is an eclectic mix of country, rock and pop that is uniquely JZ. His single Out from Under was the #1 requested video on Logo.

Known for his charismatic stage performances and his music harmonies, Zuckerman is a rising force in music. He has already had sold out concerts of over 40,000 people.

Zuckerman was raised in in St Louis Missouri. His music continues to be a reflection not only of his growth musically but of his life. His first album was A Totally New Sensation.  His second album was Out From Under. His newest single is called Be Real which is my favorite.

Josh Zuckerman Official Website: www.joshzuckerman.com

"Some people like spaghetti, and some like lasagna.  You might expect me to like lasagna, I mean, your lasagna is really good, by lasagna standards, but I really like spaghetti. I always have."

Name or Nick Name : Bryan
Country or City you are from: : Little Rock, Arkansas
Your Age : 29 (When did I turn 29!!!)
Your Gender : Male
What did you come out as? : Gay
What other words would you use to describe yourself? : I was once described as one of those rubber balls that bounces in different directions... I took it as a compliment.
How old were you when you first realised your identity? : About 13
How old were you when you first told someone? : 22
Did you plan it? If so, how? : I was 22, and fed up with lying about who I was. I wanted the people close to me to really know me.
What made you choose that person to tell? : She was a good friend.
Can you remember exactly what you said? : "Some people like spaghetti, and some like lasagna.  You might expect me to like lasagna, I mean, your lasagna is really good, by lasagna standards, but I really like spaghetti. I always have."  Poor girl. She still didn't undersand.
How did you feel? : Hungry for Italian food, and like a weight had been lifted from my chest.
What was the person’s reaction? : Confusion at first.  She thought I wanted to go to Olive Garden. Then I blurted out, "I'm gay,"
What did they say? : and she said, "um, yeah.  We all knew that a long time ago."
What was your relationship with the person like afterwards? : That year was one of the best of my life... and my friend was a huge part of that.  Oh, the clubs we danced at!
What’s it like now? : We've drifted apart - years and distance will do that, but we would still call each other "friend."  I'll see her again for the first time in two years in December.
If you’ve been outed unwillingly, who did it? :
What happened? :
What were peoples’ reactions? :
If you’ve experienced homophobia etc, please give an example. : I'm a lucky one - everyone in my life has been very supportive.
Since coming out how out are you at school? : not_applicable
Since coming out, how “out” are you at work? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with family? : all_out
Since coming out, how “out” are you with your friends? : all_out
What does being out mean to you? : Living my own personal truth.
What differences, if any, did your cultural background make to your experience of coming out? : Religion made me fear who I was, but spirituality has made me adore who I've become.
What does the concept of the closet mean to you? : A cage of self-loathing and self-hatred.
What advice would you give someone wanting to come out? : Make sure you can support yourself or have a backup plan if you face rejection - and then be yourself.
If you could do it all again, would you do it any differently? If so, how? : I would have come out much younger. I missed out on so many years!
Anything you want to add? : You are not damned to hell or loneliness. The world is waiting on you.

Is it idolatry to portray the Father in such a manner? Does the female metaphor undermine the biblical image of the Father?

Admittedly, the imagery is startling. To picture the Father as a gregarious African American woman is counter-intuitive to most Western Christian sensibilities. Is the Father really so gregarious? Is the Father female? Is the Father African American? Is the initmacy too chummy, too familiar? Is the holiness--the transcendent separateness of the divine--trumped here? (I will take up the latter two questions in my next post.)

My take on this literary move by Young is shaped by my understanding of what he is doing in The Shack. Young is weaving a story that will help wounded people come to believe that God really loves them. Many, like Young himself, were wouonded by their fathers. In the story Mack was physically abused by his father and wants nothing to do with him.

One critical moment in the parable is when the door of the shack swings open and Mack meets God. Whose face will he see? What kind of face will he see? How will God greet Mack? If Mack sees his father, then shame, hurt, anger, and pain would fill his heart. Instead Mack sees a woman of color. This arises out of Young's own experience when his earliest memories of love and acceptance were shaped by the dark skinned women of New Guinea. Those memories and some subsequent relationships with African American women shaped Young's character in the story.

The African American form of the Father in the parable is a metaphor; it is not a one-to-one image of the Father as if it were an idolatrous substitute for God himself. It functions as a theophany in the story, not a digital photo. It comes in a vision (dream; Mack had cried himself to sleep on the floor of the Shack). God appears to Mack as an African American woman because this is a metaphor that will communicate to Mack how delighted God is to spend time with him. It is a metaphor that overturns some mistaken conceptions of God in Mack's mind--conceptions that are more rooted in his abusive earthly father than in the God of Scripture. It is a theophany--the appearance of God in a particular form for the sake of encounter and communication.

Theophanies are common in Scripture. God comes as three visitors to Abraham's tent. God, in the form of a man, wrestles with Jacob. God comes as a dove descending out of the heavens. God appears as a burning bush. God is even pictured with hands and feet sitting on a throne in the Holies of Holies.

I don't find a theophanic depiction of the Father disturbing. It would be rather Neoplatonic to ascribe to the Father a kind of transcendence that cannot appear to human beings in a theophany, vision, or dream. This does not detract from the revelation of God in Jesus. In fact, it is consistent with that revelation where incarnation moves beyond theophany as well as the theophanies of the Hebrew Scriptures.

God comes to his people in a way that communicates something about himself. This does not mean that the form in which he comes is actually who God is. To identify the form with God himself is idolatry and fails to recognize that God transcends any form in which he appears. Instead, it is a revelation of himself through a particular medium but not limited to that medium. I think this is what Young is doing in his novel.

In fact, it is a brillant move. I know people who cannot connect with the Father's love because their own father was so abusive. If they opened their shacks and saw their fathers, they would hesitate, doubt, and reject the "love" offered. Their hearts would leap with fear rather than delight. But if they open their shacks and saw that God has come to them in a theophanic form (metaphor) which connects with loving experiences in their own life, then they would more readily embrace the love offered. God meets us in our personal experiences in ways that best communicate his love for us.

Scripture uses feminine metaphors to describe God's love for his people (cf. Isaiah 49:15). Young simply uses the metaphor in an extended way to make the same point that Biblical authors do. It is not an indentification but a metaphor or a theopany of divine love.

God, of course, is neither African American nor Asian nor Western. God, of course, is neither male nor female. God transcends and at the same time encompasses such categories. Masculinity and femininity are both aspects of the divine nature since we (male and female) were created in the image of God. Whether black or white or red or yellow--as we sing the children's song, the diverse ethnicity and colors are also aspects of God's own diversity (the Trinity) and his love for the diverse character of creation.

Young recognizes the relative way in which God appears as a African American woman by changing the metaphor when Papa leads Mack to Missy's body. On that day Mack would need a father, that is, he would need the human qualities that father's represent, and Papa comes to him as male. The form in which God appears to Mack is relative to Mack's needs as God seeks to commune and communicate the truth about himself with his beloved.

The theological truth is that God is delighted to meet us at our shacks. Young communicates this through an African American metaphor for the Father because it is what Mack needs (and how Young found recovery in his journey through addiction).

I find it helpful to use different metaphors for God as I envision his delight in me and experience the comfort of his enveloping love--something I am still learning to do. Whether it is crawling into my mother's lap or a bear hug from my brother, it communicates something true about the Father where an image of a male parent might not exactly do the same thing for me emotionally and spiritually. The Shack's metaphor is bold and daring but enriching and redemptive for those who connect with it given their own particular experiences.

Our imagination, guided by the truths of Scripture and sanctified by the Spirit, is an important tool for letting the truth that God loves us sink into our hearts, into our guts. During my devotional time, I envision the Father, Son and Spirit meeting with me. They are delighted that I have come to listen to them and talk with them. They welcome me. My imagination becomes a means by which I experience, by the power of the Spirit, the love of the Triune God.

The Shack has given many believers the resources to imagine--to visualize in their minds--their own encounter with God for the sake of imbibing his love and letting it settle into their hearts. The Spirit can use our imagination, just as he uses our dreams, art, poetry, didactic teaching, assembled praise, and the sacraments for such purpose as well.

For those interested, here is a 30 minute video where Young talks about his book.

            You see, Virginia cried when I left. Though she kept her sunny demeanour, tears managed to fall anyway. It was as if she were trying to keep calm under the pressure. And I appreciated it. Philadelphia, however, was a whole different story entirely.

            My relationship with Philadelphia was one of the most tumultuous experiences I had to endure. There were many days where she was just a plain bitch to me. She’d scream sirens in my ear or profess bloody murder on every street corner. Most days I hated to even walk down streets with her because I felt she was just vile and uncouth, and more importantly, disrespectful. She just didn’t give a fuck. I guess that’s why she was such a hood-rat to me. My little Philly had no concept of dreams. It seemed like she, as well as her children, couldn’t see beyond their front stoops and that’s where we clashed. She never desired to challenge herself, but she sought out fights whenever she could find them. To be honest, I knew from the start that Philly and I would be a temporary match.  I got the impression that she did not feel the same way. She thought I would be a part of her forever. I guess this is why she never anticipated my departure.

            The night before I decided to leave Philly behind, I tried to gracefully end our relationship at the restaurant that started it all: Ms. Tootsies. I wanted to tell her goodbye in a nice respectable way (over tilapia, macaroni and cheese, and collard greens). When I got to the restaurant, I was informed that their credit card machine didn’t work. Okay. Plan B.

            I decided to go across the street to Govinda’s, a nice vegan place that Philly introduced to me a while back so that we could get a vegetarian chicken cheese steak and a piece of cheesecake. My credit card would not work at that spot. Alright. Can someone say “sabotage?”

It was then I noticed that Philly was being difficult. She knew what I was trying to do and was intentionally trying to prevent me from going. So I stomped across her mean streets to Five Guys and purchased a burger and a Sprite. If Philly wasn’t going to be elegant about this, neither would I. Needless to say, the next day Philly was all smiles and sunshine (denial at it’s best) and I was trying with all my might not to make my exit more emotional than it had become.

            I got home to Virginia feeling happy, but simultaneously like I’d left something undone. I never got a chance to say my final goodbyes to the city I’d fallen in love with. You see, for me, the crux of love is in the arguing. Philly and I had many arguments, but somewhere deep inside, that’s where my love for her was. I wanted her to be better. I wanted her to dream and to do tremendous things. She didn’t share in my beliefs, and that’s why I, reluctantly, had to move on. Her negativity was becoming a deadly virus and if I would’ve stayed with her, well…we all know what the result would’ve been.

My eventual consensus was that maybe Philadelphia wasn’t supposed to be my girlfriend, but instead my homegirl: someone who, despite everything, pushed me be greater than I was. Maybe, she was just supposed to be my example of what not to be. Whatever she did…I thank her for getting me to this new chapter in my life.

            Now, after leaving my city behind and witnessing this new one which is prone to crying at inopportune moments, speaking garbled speech that I can’t understand, and introducing me to foods that would make American’s gasp, I can’t help but think of the girl I left behind. She was the only long-term relationship I’ve ever truly had. And it felt a bit weird sitting at a table alone, eating odd-tasting pizza (it’s not like American pizza) and listening to Usher croon “Burn.” Should I let my wick of love burn out for the place that developed me so much? Or will I soon be the one precipitating my feelings all over foreign streets?

            As I think this, a familiar piano melody trickles into my head from the PA system in the restaurant. It’s John Legend’s “Ordinary People.” I smile to myself because the song is appropriate. But then I wonder why is it that, no matter how ordinary you feel, we can’t seem to embrace the extraordinary elements in our lives? Could it just be that I’m an extraordinary person…who “still doesn’t know which way to go?” And is that a bad thing?

            As I got up to pay my bill, I thought about love briefly (as it is now my least of worries in this new continent). I thought of the loves I’d left behind (including Treasure  and other members of my Live 5) and the idea of it completely. For some reason, I believe my love will be more focused here. It will be my love of Theater that will help me endure. And those other twenty-four faces I met on the first day of class…well…I guess eventually I will develop a love for them as well.

            Before I close, I have some unfinished business: “Philadelphia…I loved you when we first laid eyes on one another, but please understand that my life deserved something more, which you could not give to me. If it was meant for us, then the growth we will achieve apart will eventually bring us back together. Until then, goodbye.” Class is now in session.

I thought I'd try and make a list here, which I will keep updating, of the most common irregular nouns that don't follow any of the rules that I listed before.

Words that are feminine that you might think were masculine

a carne = the meat
a chave = the key
a foto = the photo
a noite = the night
a vez = the time/the phase

Words that are masculine that you might think were feminine

o dia = the day

Compound Nouns

Generally, it seems to me (unless anyone can tell me otherwise) that compound nouns - words made up of two nouns often end up being masculine even if both the nouns are feminine. Some examples:

o guarda-roupa = the wardrobe (guarda and roupa are both feminine separately)
o guarda-chuva = the umbrella (guarda and chuva are both feminine separately)
o homem-aranha = the spiderman (homem is masculine and aranha is feminine)

Other compound words

When there is a preposition between the words, the first word is usually the one that has to agree with the gender and plural rules. For example:

o Pé-de-moleque = lit. young boy's foot, a kind of brittle candy popular in Brazil.

The gender can change in some compound nouns depending on if you are talking about a male or a female person:

o Amigo-da-onça / a amiga-da-onça = the friend of the jaguar (an idiom meaning a person who seems like a good friend but is hypocritical or insincere).
O Ex-governador / a ex-governadora = the ex-governor.

Some compounds combine adjectives and verbs with nouns. Then the gender and plural agrees with the noun:

O Beija-flor = lit. the kiss-flower / hummingbird.
Os Beija-flores = lit. the kiss-flowers / hummingbirds.

Thanks to Jack Scholes' book (see Links & Resources) for giving me some of the examples for this section.

Many young men about to graduate from college seem to realize that adolescence is getting a bit old. It's slightly weird to dress and talk and look like a high-school boy while pushing into the twenties.  Yet such men have precious little sense about what to do with that realization.  So they lose themselves in a sea of self-indulgence, floating with a vague sense of shame and inadequacy.  In the past, American manhood was biblically informed and defined by certain events and experiences.  Now, many men do nothing but drift.  Though the Bible does not spell out in a single passage the way a boy becomes a man, it does include some poignant exchanges that provide clarity in the presence of confusion.

You can read them all here: 

A Blueprint for Manhood, Part 1: The Problem, a Solution, and the First Few Years of a Boy's Life

A Blueprint for Manhood, Part 2: In Adolescence and Beyond, the Importance of Living for Others

A Blueprint for Manhood, Part 3:Maturity, Singleness, and the Legacy Every Man Can Leave

May we be biblically-reformed men, and for those who are bringing up boys, may we pray for and work towards shaping young men who walk wisely by fearing God, loving others, picking up the cross daily to follow Christ--the true man!!!

Sola Deo Gloria, dss

"This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman because she was taken out of Man.  Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife and they shall become one flesh."  These are the words of Adam after the separation of part of himself in order to create his perfect mate, Eve.  From one, comes two!  When living cells split the first division is into two.  Duality is born and now that there are two there automatically comes a need for hierarchy.  One must become the primary, the leader, the dominant, the positive one.   The other must be secondary, the follower, the submissive, the negative one.  Every one of those statements I made could incite a riot because we have yet to destroy the connection of those words to good/bad or good/evil.  None of these words in relation to male and female interaction were ever intended to denote the rightness or wrongness of either.  Eve was the negative to Adam.  The flipside.  The true compliment because she was created as a "helpmeet" for him.  By taking a integral part of him she is the one he now needs to go to in order to be his whole self.  Impossible!  This is at best a pipe dream of massive proportions.  The nature of our physical bodies makes joining together to create one flesh or body an impossibility.  Just that quickly we are at a dead end in following the trail because this cannot occur.  Unless...  Unless we consider that Adam, by virtue of the breath of God which made him a living soul, is still actually carrying the "wholeness" of Gods "spirit" in him still.  The spirit itself cannot be "separated", but its expression can be "impeded" by the physical vessel it is in.  Adam still contains both potentials in spirit, but the "masculine" qualities are far more easily expressed through the "vessel" he has become in the separation.  Eve also contains both potentials, but she is "tuned" at the opposite end of the spectrum of "human"  Her physical self "conforms" to her role as the "representative" of the feminine nature of man or "female man" and therefore everything about her is basically opposite to the male man.  She is designed to be more attuned to the emotional/nurturing/desire aspects of spirit as the reverse of Adam.

One example stands out as validation for what I say.  Those of us who have sought the truth of God in Christ and have been to church, have mostly likely heard the following statement discussed.  "Man is the head of woman, and Christ is the head of man."  Untold numbers of women have been oppressed, beaten down, demeaned and dehumanized with that statement as the justification.  Once again, God is scape goated by some evil inspired man to justify his disregard for God true intent.  First, the second half of the statement is all to often forgotten, leaving only the "man is the head of woman" part as all that is needed.  The popular interpretation is wrong and tells us just how out of sync with Gods concept of life, us and the universe we are.  Consider what I have said thus far and a different picture may begin to emerge.  "Man" (mind) is the head of woman (emotion) and Christ (spirit) is the head of man is about "relationship".  Proper hierarchy.  I see the dawning of understanding in many.  Mind must lead emotion because if we do not consistently "think" out what we are experiencing, we will forever be at the mercy of our lower natures "feelings".  Which one of us doesn't know a person that is, on a regular basis, drug up and down the street from conflict to crisis because their emotions write their "script"?  Spirit first, then mind followed by the emotions!  That is the proper relationship.  The statement was not intended for the subjugation of women!  They are not inferior.  They are not less than.  They are not slaves to man.  They are children of God who accept that in this life the soul that they are is placed in a vessel that "stamps" them as female and that form or vessel "represents" something far greater than what we see with our eyes.  Eve, the true Eve recognizes that as a word or breath of God, she is neither male nor female, but made in his image.  She as that spirit of God, increases as a soul through the accumulation of experiences that differentiates her from other "breaths" of God.  As a soul she still is neither male nor female, but may tend to lean toward one or the other because we accumulate "soul" matter based on emotional attachment or possession of people, places and things.  When that soul is placed in a concrete form called flesh it now manifest predominantly either one or the other.  Either born into a male body or a female body.  Different job descriptions because each form "represents" a different, but equal portion of Gods creation.  But, their equality is not designed for them to stand still staring at each other, it is designed for them to "get somewhere".  One will lead and other will follow in love.

Wonbin is pleased. As for it, Minhwan is loved though there are a lot of homosexual expressions. Because most Hongi is a cocksucker, four remaining people are chiefly male impersonator. Cruel ?!!

honggi is a...LMAO....HAHAHAAAA

* as we all know fanfics make them all be homos in bizarre triangles and such, its to be expected, same with DBSK and soon SHINee, i'm sure. sick.

WOW!!!

When I find a hot man to settle down with, I want him to lounge around the house like this all the time.

I wish I had a better quality image of this guy to post. He has got an absolutely gorgeous body and I think shirtless guys in straw hats are very hot.

"... all male scientists are closet boy band super stars" - Hayden, It's Alive!*

Go out-of-context quoting!

*note: only one exclamation mark, it's a different blog , I swear...