Thanks for being my love for one and half years, when you receive this letter I believe you might have selected a new boy friend and started enjoying your dating. Every lovers needs to struggle a bit to get a boy friend or girl friend.

Monisha … In order to recover your missing, I got another girl from next street & as you know this is my forth love, from all my past experiences I have learned a lot. When the love blossoms everyone starts writing love Letters, you know very well… I have written many love letters to you, and writing a love letter in poetic way is not so easy nowadays MONISHA , and it's a time consuming work, In order to avoid all this I need all my lover letters back so that I can put corrector and send to my new girl friend , please send it back to me , I don't have poetic references or any photocopy of these letters.

Another thing MONISHA, I have given you one cute photo of mine , can you send it to me please , you know better that this is the only photo I look very cute & handsome and this photo I have taken when I was in my very first love.And also, during my 1 ½ years of love days I have spend lot of monies for impressing you, I am attaching a list of expenses which I request you to clear it at the earliest. The expenses are as follows: Lunch / Dinner; 895, Cool Drinks 2938Rs, Snacks 5645Rs, Juice 3845Rs,Cinema 1235Rs. Internet Chatting 1499Rs. , Mobile 2546Rs. Petrol 4255Rs. Gift Items 7850 Rs, - Grand Total : 30,708 Rs (in Words : Thirty Thousand Seven Hundred and Eight Rupees).

Please try to clear the above amount so that I can spend these monies on my new girl friend, and more over if you have any of my gift lying with you, am ready to take these packs in half prices. Please calculate the value of packs left over and deduct it from the above statement of account.

I am enclosing herewith your love letters (Weigh around 4 Kg) so that you no need to write again to your boy friend and your photo so that you can give to your new BF.

Yours Lovingly Ex-BF,

Rony

And Didn't Study For The Test Which Was Scheduled For The Next Day.

In the morning they thought of a plan.

They made themselves look as dirty and weird with grease and dirt.

They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night

and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the car!

all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they can have the re-test after 3 days.

They thanked him and said they will be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean.

The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test,

All four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.

Q.1. Your Name........ ......... ........( 2 MARKS )

Q.2. Which tyre burst ?........... ....( 98 MARKS )

 a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right .....!!!

Cigarette:

A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other.
***********

Love affairs:

Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test.
***********

Marriage:

It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master
***********

Divorce:

Future tense of marriage
***********

Lecture:

An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
***********

Conference:

The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
***********

Compromise:

The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
***********

Tears:

The hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine waterpower.. .
***********

Dictionary:

A place where divorce comes before marriage.
***********

Conference Room:

A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
***********

Ecstasy:

A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
***********

Classic:

A book which people praise, but do not read.
***********

Smile:

A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
***********

Office:

A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
***********

Yawn:

The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
***********

Etc:

A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
***********

Committee:

Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
***********

Experience:

The name men give to their mistakes.
***********

Atom Bomb:

An invention to end all inventions.
***********

Philosopher:

A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
***********

Diplomat:

A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
***********

Opportunist:

A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.
***********

Optimist:

A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway See I am not injured yet.
***********

Pessimist:

A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY
***********

Miser:

A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
***********

Father:

A banker provided by nature.
***********

Criminal:

A guy no different from the rest... Except that he got caught.
***********

Boss:

Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
***********

Politician:

One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
***********

Doctor:

A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills .

***********

HE: May I have the pleasure of this dance?
SHE: No, I'd like to have some pleasure too!!!

HE: How did you get to be so beautiful?
SHE: I must have been given your share!!!

HE: Will you come out with me this Saturday?
SHE: Sorry! I'm having a headache this weekend!!!
HE: Go on, don't be shy. Ask me out!
SHE: Okay, get out!!!

HE: I think I could make you very happy
SHE: Why? Are you leaving?
HE: What would you say if I asked u to marry me?
SHE: Nothing. I can't talk and laugh at the same time!!!

HE: Can I have your name?
SHE: Why, don't you already have one?
HE: Shall we go and see a film?
SHE: I've already seen it!!!

HE: Do you think it was fate that brought us together?
SHE: Nah, it was plain bad luck!!!
HE: Where have you been all my life?
SHE: Hiding from you.

HE: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
SHE: Yes, thats why I don't go there anymore.
HE: Is this seat empty?
SHE: Yes, and this one will be if you sit down .

HE: So, what do you do for a living?
SHE: I'm a female impersonator.
HE: Hey baby, what's your sign?
SHE: Do not enter.

 *

*

Ha.. Ha.. Ha..

Our dress – Topless  

Our telephone – Cordless   

Our cooking – Fireless   

Our youth – Jobless   

Our food – Fatless  

Our labour – Effortless    

Our conduct – Worthless   

Our relation – Loveless    

Our attitude – Careless   

Our feelings – Heartless   

Our politics - Shameless     

Our education – Valueless      

Our follies – Countless      

Our arguments – Baseless    

Our boss - Brainless     

Our Job - Thankless     

Our Salary - Very less     

So totally USELESS